Marcus Fellowes

Most approaches to happiness work on the same assumption. That freedom is somewhere ahead of you. That with enough work, enough understanding, enough healing, enough practice, you will eventually arrive at the place where things finally feel okay. Stop Restarting begins somewhere different. You are free first. Not after.

From the moment you were born, the world had opinions about who you should be. Not out of malice. Out of love, mostly. Parents, teachers, well-meaning adults who wanted the best for you and communicated it the only way they knew. By pointing at someone else. Be more like your brother. Look how well she's doing. Why can't you be more like him. And then, as you got older, the pointing got louder and more sophisticated. Celebrities to emulate. Influencers to follow.

Ten people walk into the same room. Same temperature. Same lighting. Same noise level. Same everything. Ten completely different experiences. One person feels immediately comfortable. Another feels vaguely on edge. One is thinking about something that happened earlier and barely registers the room at all. Another is hyperaware of who's there and who isn't. One feels fine until they notice someone they'd rather not see, and then the room ...